your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
