Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
