He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
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