A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
