Redeem this text for a blowjob
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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