we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
