she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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