And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
