But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Randomize
