70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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