I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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