is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Randomize
