She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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