There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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