you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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