We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
