3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
only you would photoshop your dick
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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