Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
