Three words: puerto rican gang bang
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
