also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
My liver just had a heart attack.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
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