how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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