True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i just had sex bonerless
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
