Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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