I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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