Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
he wants to bone in the snuggie
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
