Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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