Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
