you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Randomize
