Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
