"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
