she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
We don't watch enough power rangers
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
