I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
i believe in u and ur pee
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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