we're blogging at a bar
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
