I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
