The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
