I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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