hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
