I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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