Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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