"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
