Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
