Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
