in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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