She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
