SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
