A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
