so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
