next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
