so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
