i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
