from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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