I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
