Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
