it hurts more in the daytime
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
You did what with his pubic hair?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
