Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Boobs are out for the taking
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
