please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
