seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Oh god it's open bar.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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