So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
